Obsessed and utterly in love with Rob

I occasionally enjoy a good vampire film, when it accidentally comes my way. It really fascinates me the whole atmosphere, the mysterious over the vampires, the legends, their absolute passion, etc.

The movies I had so far watched was “Dracula”, “Interview with a Vampire” and another one with Jack Nicholson being a werewolf (note: I prefer vampires over werewolves because they are nobler creature in my imagination).

And of course, it goes without saying, that I loathed the “Twilight Saga” (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn) , for no obvious reasons, since I had never laid eyes on it and everything that had immediate relation to it. Nevertheless, I made fun of my friends and relatives that watched the movies and read the books and in just listening to the name ‘Robert Pattinson’ and all the delirium from Facebook posts, from friend’s comments and discussions, I just didn’t get it! I had looked at him but I had never actually seen him!

And then, suddenly, one night a couple of days ago, everything changed. I bumped into “Twilight” on TV and was captured. I was taken aback by RP’s beauty. I was magnetized by his eyes. I almost believed that I was Bella, or that Edward Cullen truly existed. I was instantly transferred to Folks and I am since then captivated there.

I was never obsessed with Hollywood stars, singers, or anything like, and even as a teenager I had difficulty choosing my “favorite actor” when writing in girly diaries. I was always preoccupied with real life. Of course, when I watch a romantic movie or comedy series on the TV, or even when I read a really strong book, I have some kind of identification with some of the characters or I daydream a couple of minutes of how life should be, but that is all.

I have never experienced such strong feelings for a fiction character, let alone a Hollywood star. I could not take my eyes off the screen and I could not stop giggling or sighing every time his eyes crossed mine (well not exactly mine, but in my imagination there was a whole other plot going on). I fell instantly in love with him, as if I was some kind of a foolish teenage girl (which, trust me, I am not, neither foolish, nor teenage girl). I downloaded all movie soundtracks; I bought already two of the book of the series and plan to have a Twilight marathon over the weekend. Not to mention the hundreds of photos I have downloaded from the Internet picturing the absolute object of my desire.

I know that all of the above, especially, for those of you that know me well, sound a bit crazy. Well that was what I think too. So I could not help but wonder, why was I so much influenced by such a movie?

And then it dawned to me that maybe there other things elongating behind this phenomenally obsessed behavior. Trying to read between the lines, I came to the conclusion that I was so much utterly in love with RP or EC or whatever his name, because of what the whole movie represented (not the obvious reasons). I saw things left unsaid, I saw feelings mirroring in the eyes of the protagonists, I saw the “dangerous bad boy” that the “nice good girl” should not go out with him, I saw words between people who were in love, I saw caring about each other, I saw “dying for the person I love”, I saw the need to protect and stand by her, I saw all the flirting (nice, smooth, intriguing flirting, clever lines, nobility), I saw other people being just a vague image in the background, I saw absolute love and passion and lust and I saw two people disappearing in the woods and being all alone in the world just as two people in love should feel.

And then I tried to remember all the times I had felt that way and I realized it was a long time ago. And I missed all these things. But I didn’t get nostalgic. Instead, I am feeling in love (in general) and I have butterflies in my stomach and I cannot eat and to my surprise, today I woke up so happy and relaxed.

Off course, RP’s picture is in my nightstand, and on the fridge, but then I figured that it’s a kind of a therapy and perhaps a compass to where I should head (Folks, haha, just kidding) and maybe, who knows, my dream may become a reality someday. 😉 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3VO23pXsLc



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